For about a month, my heart has been sensitive to a deep loss. I first (of course) thought it was in reference to experiencing another round of grief over not having my dad around. I know there is great truth to that deepening loss as years pass and there are more memories without him then with him.
However, there was a peculiarity with than the normal grief process. It wouldn’t go away, in fact it has grown in existence. Many times when I would turn on the TV or visit a website there was a story of tragedy and loss. Was there was really more tragedy and loss than before or could it be that my heart was more tender to it?
Tonight I rested in this question to determine if there could be a bigger picture God was wanting me to see. And very quietly He whispered, Tomorrows Good Friday. Now normally I dont celebrate Lent and this year is no different, yet could it be that God had me experiencing a different type of Lent this year. A journey that allowed me to eat meat and chocolate whenever I wanted and instead of mentally/physically giving something up for sacrifice, he wanted to prepare my heart for how Mary and the Disciples truly felt watching their beloved son, brother, and friend be abused, embarrassed, betrayed (some of them being those who betrayed), and ultimately murdered?
I’ve heard the story and participated in so many Easter events that I’ve become numb to the realness of its effect. The routine of more services, dressing up, and a nice meal has clouded my heart from truly reaching a depth that could FEEL the experience of Easter. There is tremendous sadness in grief, losing a loved one, having dreams crushed around you, and watching others hurt. The ability to see the HOPE in those things and more importantly seeing HOPE in everyday is a challenge for the best of us.
Maybe this year Easter is met with more than just the HOPE that Christ symbolizes but is it possible for it to also serve as a wake-up call to all of us to not miss the moments in life that count? Life is fragile and shorter than we realize. In the three days between Christs death and resurrection I wonder how many times Mary and the Disciples recalled all the stories Christ told that they wished they would have taken notes or the jokes he told that made their belly hurt from laughing or the time he was silent and just sat with them. Time is short and while we live our 24/7 paced lives what are we missing that God has for us. There are urgent and important things all around us and most of the “To Dos” on our lists when you get down to it are NEITHER urgent or important in the grand scheme of things.
Could God use me today? Where might He want to bless me? Where does He need me to sit and be silent with him? Who do I need to forgive to heal a relationship? Who do I need to reach out and say, Hey, Im thinking of you? We have HOPE! We Have Time right now to DO SOMETHING!!! This could be the Easter where a life is changed and hope is restored. Maybe its you who needs to be restored or maybe its me who needs to do the restoring. But let us not wait until its too late!!!
May you be surprised this Good Friday and Easter!!